MoooooooOOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOooo.

And why not?

So yeh tomorrow I'm going out with Becky, Dayan and MAYYBE Sean. Sean must soon decide. Yes. Yes he must. We're going to the club we didn't end up at last Friday so woo.

Lately things have been weird. It's like, I don't know how to react to anything anymore. I just feel very neutral and almost calm but it's like the calm before (maybe after) the storm. I suspect that I should have told the counsillor this instead of staring at where the carpet and the wall met.

Oh wow. The counsillor said "Ach" to me today, in a sentence! That makes her better than before, haha, she is Scottish by the way. It wasn't just a random 'Ach' though it bloody well should have been.

Hahaha. Today I was in English Literature and I'd been there for fifteen minutes when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. When Paul (my teacher) walked out of the classroom I checked my message and it was Gaz texting me to say "I really want to shit in the water cooler" I cannot describe how that made me laugh in absurdity and hilarity. I swear. He sends me the best text messages, but don't tell him that otherwise he'll get a big head. MwAhaha.

Oh and Loley has her internet back!! Yay! *does a jig* That rocks so much so now I can talk to her and she can giggle cutely AND she can send me various cutey wallpapers for my conversation boxes. Haha. Because that's the kinda fun we always have. Aii.

I don't actually know why I'm this chirpy late at night but I think talking to Becky did it. Haha. It's weird, I mean I've only known her what? A month and a week or something, but she's like me with her sense of humour and she doesn't care that I do get depressed and suicidal, even though I was worried about that.

Hm. Maybe the counsillor was right when she said I should become more 'open' about how I feel, more honest. I mean, over the internet I am but I should be more so in person. (I just typed all that really quickly in the dark so I'm kinda impressed for some strange reason)

Ohh and Mr J is going to send me a postcard from New York when he goes in a week or so. Woo. I'll shall stick it to my computer monitor in honour of it. Yes. All must pay homage to the postcard.

This morning I was really hyper, it was actually quite scary for me and everyone around. I started dancing and jumping in the middle of the cafeteria next to John while saying "Come on, let's go to English! It'll be fun! Goooo on!" Haha. It was weird but he found it funny. He's cool actually, very quiet at first but ya know.. he has a sense of humour so hurrah!

Tomorrow I must do my application forms. Yes I must, and I shall. I must also empty the bin, pick up the random clothes and.. urm.. sort da shit out yo!

At lunch I was lying down with my head on Bo's knee/thigh whilst reading my Lee Child book and listening to Idlewild. Fifteen minutes before Biology I sat up and shouted "FUCK! I have a Biology test" Bo goes "Reviiision. Reviiiision." I look at my book, I listen to Idlewild. I lie back down and say "Fuck it." And continue reading whilst Becky and Bo just laugh.

It was funny at the time? Got to lesson and Joe is hurridly revising, because, ya know, he's so fucking brainy?! Weiird. He stresses too much and I stress too little. Anyway, the test wasn't as bad as I was dreading, dunno what everyone else thought. I mean, yeah I probably sucked in it but it surely could have been a lot worse and harder.

In the second period of Biology me and Joe got really pissed off because while the teacher was trying to explain something to us the three rows of girls behind us continued to talk. It took the piss. I mean yeh I talk but not while the teacher is explaining something WHICH YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND UNLESS YOU LISTEN TO WHAT HE IS SAYING!

Mr Eason is cool in Biology but in Psychology.. he tends to drag kinda. Eek. I shouldn't say such things. Ah well. He is definately the better of my Biology teachers.

Oh yeh and in December Mr Myberg, the other Psychology teacher I have, is leaving. I was so shocked when he told the class because he was the one who helped me and got me to see the counsillor and he watched me cry. I mean.. I'm pleased he's leaving because it's something he obviously really wants to do but I hope the replacement teacher isn't dull otherwise I'm gonna fail Psychology.. big time.

Yesterday me and Peggerty were talking and he found a website for GLOW IN THE DARK CONDOMS! A necessity I suspect. Haha. I showed Sean and we have been making so many jokes about them. I.e. lightsaber. Having a knight in shining armour. Oh I salute Peggerty for finding that.

And whilst walking to college from the chip shop with Sean (who had chips and a small sausage) I 'innocently' asked him whether he liked big or small sausages. He seemed a bit confused then he saw me grin and he started to piss himself laughing. Ah innuendos rock.

Oh and I got off the 357 after college with Sean and he got me in hysterical laughing because we were talking about boxer shorts. Haha. Oh man. I swear. It was so funny ... I literally lost my breath for about five seconds, and my sides hurt.. and people stared. But it was funny.

And then we caught Ben on the bus (257 and 357) even though we got on different stops for the 257 we still saw him. He gets off a stop after me. That freaked me because I never knew that. Ben's cool if a slight *cough* psycho. Still I like him and because I don't freak or act differently round him he ...accepts? tolerates? me. Heh.

Anyway. I'm going to go to bed now and

just lie in the warmth of my duvet cover. Ahh the bliss that is a warm bed.