Today was... interesting. First of all I HAD to wake up to say goodbye to my Nana Jean at... nine in the morning. Is that actually even considered healthy for a teenager? Nah. Did not think so. However I ran back up the stairs, went to bed and woke up around twelve when my dad came in to use the laptop.

For about two hours I did... jack shit. Basically sat around on the laptop not even talking to anyone of particular interest for any length of time. Everyone seemed to have a life for those two hours, strange, never happens. Mwahaha.

Then my mum walked in and wanted to talk to me. I found out a shitload about my past. Basically I live with my step-dad and mum and I've never really known my dad because he left when I was little, not really meant to be a father obviously.

I discovered he isn't my biological father, another guy is and he has been trying to get in contact with us since my mum left. (Long story behind that and I don't feel like typing it out) He lives in Wales and travelled to London a year ago to find my mum and me and went to my nan's house. She hates him (along with my step-grandad) and doesn't actually know the truth.

They took his phone number, my mum phoned and that's all I can remember because by this point I was in tears and upset. Duh.

He then phoned this Thursday asking about my GCSE results. (He actually cared, that got me. It really did) He also wanted to know about whether I had been given the choice about seeing him and stuff. My mum told me today and now I have to make the choice what to do.

I also discovered he has another son, so I have a half brother. A HALF BROTHER! How weird.

This is... just weird for me. It's like something written in a book yet it is my past and life I'm typing about. I'm out of it right now because of this information. I mean... fucking big piece of information or what?

So... my mum was so upset. It broke my heart. I don't blame her at all. She was young and.. to be honest I understand. I love her as much as I always have and I don't think that'll change.

I then went out to meet Hannah P and talk about it with her, I couldn't just sit down and be alone I needed company. She's now staying around. I wonder if she's scared of leaving me? Nadirah knows and just made me laugh completely. I'm thankful for that. Meh. I laughed when she fractured her leg so fair do's guv'nor.

I'm scared, nervous, angsty. Ah well. I think I know what I'm going to do. I think I'm going to phone him next weekend when I'm vaguely settled at college which I start on Monday. And then if I get along with him I might phone him every week. I just have to see what happens. I think that's it. Just see what happens.