Just listened to all of Kid A. Like from the moment I woke up, during my shower, while reading others diaries, while getting dressed Radiohead was constantly playing. That rocks so much to me. I can't wait to see them in exactly two weeks time.

Me and Mr J have decided that when we go camping we're probably going to get lost, get rained on quite a bit and I think our tent will slide all over the place in the mud, but that's not a certainty. All I know is that we will have so much fun.

It's really hard for me to trust people. I always feel as though what I have is uncertain and won't stay for long. That whoever I'm beginning to trust will find someone better, someone more worthwhile. And this will all be happening whilst I get in trouble or sink lower. I don't know. It's all so horrible these thoughts. I mean. I can't actually begin to know why people would continually keep talking to me.

Heh. And the people who said they would be my friend always. What fucking liars some of them are.

How pissy is it that I don't have to be in college until two and yet I have to go in for tweleve because I have to go to fucking counsilling. Gr. What a bitch. I suppose I have to, but what can I tell her? There's nothing I feel like saying.

All I know is that for a long time now I've been wallowing and keeping everything inside, not healthy I know but the way I fucking cope. Some marks on my arm prove the whole 'coping' thing wrong but we won't get into that aye?

My step-dad has been really fucking grouchy lately and it is beginning to really piss me off because he has only been grumpy with me. What have I fucking done?! Wanker.

Anyway. I'm fine. I always am, right? I'm at peace. Yes..

I had a weird dream, I think I had the lead singer of REM (I want to write his name but I am so sure I'm going to get his surname wrong or something. So I won't even attempt it) as a waiter. Who then told me my signature was nice because I had just been stressing over it. Yes. My dreams are crazy.