Last night was horrible. I kept seeing this white face that was someone (a woman I thought/got the feeling that it was a woman) screaming. Always screaming. It was horrible.

I don't get why I have these. I also hate how much further they drive me into my depression and, maybe, insanity.

I was leaning out my window and I just whispered to myself "I can't do this anymore." And that just sums it all up perfectly. I don't think I can.

Last night one think was keeping me going. Just one fucking thing. Shouldn't it be more than that? Shouldn't it be a whole list of stuff, of things I haven't accomplished? Instead one thing.. *sigh* I know what I mean.

There was no 'me' left in 'me' last meaning I couldn't smile. I could just about think straight but the rest of my personality was left behind, too much extra baggage to carry.

Also last night my laptop fucked up and now is the first time I managed to get started since twelve last night, which means I was pissed off because my one life-line to help was cut off.. not that I knew if anyone was online. But I hoped.

I wake up and my family have all gone out. I don't know where, but I'm not with them. I'm seperate from them. A part of the family that everyone would rather forget. The imperfect daughter. We should all say goodbye to her.