That's all I can think of saying; it evaporated.

I cried today. I bent over and cried out all the pain. That was after two tears trailed down my cheek and I was drowned in silence, a silence that spoke more words than I ever can.

Pulling at my hair, fiddling with the tissue, fumbling with the keys on the laptop's keyboard, trying to say what I've never been able to say.

And now this is all just emptiness.

Good night all. I'll see you tomorrow and.. the pain will be carried with me too....... oh and seeing the counsillor tomorrow again. I wonder whether I'll tell her about this.

And I don't know whether there will ever be words to express my thanks to Alex. He told me the truth and he loves me. I love him.. I think he knows that... He should.