I just put the phone down on a friend and I'm scared that it signifies the end of a friendship. So distant... it makes me sad because I actually tried. For once I tried... but I can only try so much and then.. it just hurts and I can't do it anymore.

Anyway. Today was interesting in that I went to see Finding Nemo which is funny but in the adverts it is made out to be really funny but it's not that funny.. I mean it's funny but.. MEH.

Um then Becky came round because we were mayybe going to go round to Alice's house but that fell through because everyone we were trying to contact were.. disappearing. Weiirdness. Anyway we watched the second Matrix film (Matrix; Reloaded right?) and just laughed at things. I can't really remember but it was fun. Yup.

Then we phoned Sean to see if he would hang out with us (this was at twenty to nine) and he was like "I'm about to watch a film, Monty Python, wanna come round and watch?" So yeh we did. Until about 10:30 where we then spent twenty minutes laughing with Sean and his friend Alex. Yay. It was funny.

My new nickname is 'the lesbian rugmuncher' given to me by Luke, Becky's boyfriend. Um. I kinda took it as a compliment because what else can I do? Haha. I've realised everyone just insults me but I insult me so it is all good. Yehh. It's all good.

I feel really weird now. I think I'm about to become depressed... again. I've been okay previously.. for a while I've just been normal.. and in this state of living in a bubble. I suppose. I tried explaining it to the counsillor and all I could come up with was me being suspended in a bubble and it's 'protecting' me and all emotions are rebounding off this bubble. I feel nothing. I feel as though I'm in this state of nothingness.. I am in a state of nothingness.

It dunno. It all seems so futile. Meh. Words are now failing me. Hm. It would have to happen now.

Anyway. I'm going to go curl in bed... and stare.